Christmas Joy
Christmas JoyHow can I get out of doing Christmas this year?
Author: mike | Filed under: Christmas
Karen S asked:
I have told my mother, my husband and I do not want to buy gifts for the adults this year. Every year we all spend hundreds of dollars on each other and no one ever uses the gifts! We want everyone to give to the needy instead, but they won’t do it. My mom still wants to buy us gifts that we don’t want or need.
We also want to spend Christmas at our own home, by ourselves, not drive around to our parents homes. We are in our 40’s, and feel we have earned a right to have our own Christmas, but our parents don’t see it that way.
- Tags: Christmas, Doing Christmas, Mom
DJK
October 25th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
You are 40 somthing your parents shouldn’t be running your life.
ilove criss angel!!
October 27th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
You are your own boss now. tell your parents that this christmas you want to spend it with you family meaning your husband and kids. you can always spend it with them next christmas. you had to do it their way when you were a kid now your an adult so spend it however u want to.
xoartbabe
October 29th, 2008 at 2:51 am
why don’t you try getting them to have it at your house and anything you get from your parents you can always give to charity and is there an organization that you parents belong to that you could donate money to
citizen
October 30th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
OK, then do this.
Send out a bunch of Xmas cards to all the adults in your family
with thoughts appropiate for the season. Tell them you do not
want any gifts from them. If they insist on giving you somethiing,
ask them to send you gift cards and then donate them to your
favorite charity or shelter. Don’t wait for your mother to invite you
over for Xmas Day or dinner. You need tell her personally that
you’re sorry you won’t be able to make it to this year’s Xmas
dinner. Tell her you have decided to spend Xmas at home with
your husband. Be respectful, thoughtfull and kind when you
deliver this message to her….but be firm.
Of course your parents don’t see it that way. They see this as
a way to keep the family together. There’s nothing wrong about
that. There are poeple in the world that would love to have this
situation happen to them. Appreciate the fact that your parents
love you so much and it means the world to them to have you
near. especially at Xmas time. Please don’t take the all or
nothing approach. Maybe you can strike a compromise and agree
to alternate the holiday, you know, like this year is your place
and next year it’s their place, something like that.
I know that hurting them is is not your intent, but know that it
may be unavoidable. Call them every day or visit them as much
as you can. Let them know how much you love them. Let them
know how much they mean to you. Give them a warm and
heart felt embrace (hug) everytime you do this. They will respect
and honor your sincerity and honesty.
Hope this helps. May you all have a very Merry Xmas!
Judy b
November 1st, 2008 at 3:48 am
tell them your not buying gits that your giving the money to charity
koalaperson
November 4th, 2008 at 7:40 am
I started giving my friends certificates from the Hunger Site ” Gifts that Give’ i.e. money for hurricane victims. etc. You can do that. Tell your mom you are just not doing it this year.
DebiDel
November 6th, 2008 at 2:26 am
There will be plenty of time when your parents are gone to have Christmas alone. You sound like a selfish person to me…get over yourself and try to think of someone else, you know, the people who raised you and cared for you for more that half your life so far, instead of just yourself. Have your private day on a different day…make up a holiday called Selfish-ta-vus Day or something like that. Selfish people (people who don’t give their time) always use the excuse to give to the needy instead of taking time to shop for people they love…it’s way easier to give money than to give of yourself or your time, isn’t it?
Monica
November 7th, 2008 at 6:42 am
tell her to include gift receipts with them and take the ones that you don’t need back to the store!!!!
Or if you do receive something that you don’t want or need, since you did say something about giving to the needy, just give your presents to the people who really can enjoy them.
BUT I like the first idea better! 🙂
You have your own lives together, just tell your parents that you are spending a nice quiet Christmas alone by yourselves this year. There is no rule where it says that you HAVE to go to other people’s houses for Christmas! Your parents need to realize that! and they just need to deal with it!
dooie1
November 9th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
It sounds like there may be a reason you really don’t want to spend time with your parents. If you didn’t have any conflicts and you felt a lot of love for someone, you would naturally want to buy them gifts and spend as much time as you could with them. You need to look at what is going on in your relationship with them. Maybe they have been selfish and expect you to do what they want, but they possibly only do what they want, when they want – and that sounds like CHRISTMAS to me. Maybe they never were there for you, but expected you to be there for them. If that is the case then I would start doing what you want. You may need to be more committed to yourself and your little family for a while. There is nothing wrong with living your own life, I am sure you have your reasons for wanting to do so.
Claire de Lune
November 10th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Take everyone out to dinner before or after Christmas and spend the day the way you want to.